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Ask Ava, Episode 205: “What if I feel pressured to lose my virginity?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 204: “What if I feel pressured to be in a relationship?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 203: “What if I feel pressured to have my first kiss?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 202: “What can I do if my friend doesn’t want help?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Counseling Services for Youth Survivors of Domestic and Sexual Abuse

Brochure describing available free services for youth 3+ at Safe+Sound Somerset.

Ask Ava, Episode 201: “What if I didn’t want to have sex, but I gave in because I felt pressured?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

2024-2026 Officers of the Board of Trustees

Somerville, NJ (February 8, 2024) – Safe+Sound Somerset (Safe+) is pleased to announce the 2024-2026 officers of the Board of Trustees as follows: Sheila Breeding, Chairperson; Lisa Barclay, Vice Chairperson; and Amy Karson, Treasurer. “Safe+Sound Somerset is so fortunate to have these talented women as its officers for 2024-2026. Their leadership, skills, and commitment to serving survivors and engaging the community in our mission to end domestic, dating, and sexual in our community will be critical to our continued success,”...

Ask Ava, Episode 200: “What if my partner is upset that I don’t trust them with my private photos and videos?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Helper’s Guide for Domestic and Sexual Violence

Want to help, but don't know what to say or do? This is focused on family and friends, but can also be used by professionals.

Ask Ava, Episode 199: “Why don’t some survivors talk about the abuse they went through?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 198: “What if my partner doesn’t respect my pronouns?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

How to Empower Young People in the Age of Social Media: Supporting Body Acceptance & Self-Compassion

Resource about the effects of social media and how to facilitate positive conversations about media and body acceptance with youth. Includes a list of positive social media accounts related to body image.

Spanish – Brochure about VINE – Offender Custody Status Information

VINE is a free service through the NJ office of the Attorney General. This allows you to anonymously check on an offender's custody status by phone, website, or mobile app. You can also register to receive authomated notifications about changes in custody status. TTY (hearing impaired) service is also available.

Portuguese – Brochure about VINE – Offender Custody Status Information

VINE is a free service through the NJ office of the Attorney General. This allows you to anonymously check on an offender's custody status by phone, website, or mobile app. You can also register to receive authomated notifications about changes in custody status. TTY (hearing impaired) service is also available.

Arabic – Brochure about VINE – Offender Custody Status Information

VINE is a free service through the NJ office of the Attorney General. This allows you to anonymously check on an offender's custody status by phone, website, or mobile app. You can also register to receive authomated notifications about changes in custody status. TTY (hearing impaired) service is also available.

Hindi – Brochure about VINE – Offender Custody Status Information

VINE is a free service through the NJ office of the Attorney General. This allows you to anonymously check on an offender's custody status by phone, website, or mobile app. You can also register to receive authomated notifications about changes in custody status. TTY (hearing impaired) service is also available.

Gujarati – Brochure about VINE – Offender Custody Status Information

VINE is a free service through the NJ office of the Attorney General. This allows you to anonymously check on an offender's custody status by phone, website, or mobile app. You can also register to receive authomated notifications about changes in custody status. TTY (hearing impaired) service is also available.

Chinese – Brochure about VINE – Offender Custody Status Information

VINE is a free service through the NJ office of the Attorney General. This allows you to anonymously check on an offender's custody status by phone, website, or mobile app. You can also register to receive authomated notifications about changes in custody status. TTY (hearing impaired) service is also available.

English – Brochure about VINE – Offender Custody Status Information

VINE is a free service through the NJ office of the Attorney General. This allows you to anonymously check on an offender's custody status by phone, website, or mobile app. You can also register to receive authomated notifications about changes in custody status. TTY (hearing impaired) service is also available.

Feature In Rutgers School of Public Health’s 2022-23 Impact Report

To view the 2022-2023 Impact Report in its entirety, go to:

Deirdre Blaus Joins Board of Trustees

Safe+Sound Somerset is pleased to announce the appointment of, Deirdre Blaus, Vice President of Operations at RWJBarnabas Health – Somerset, to our Board of Trustees. “Our Board of Trustees is comprised of a dedicated team of community leaders’ commitment to serving survivors and engaging the community in our mission to end domestic, dating and sexual in our community,” said Michele E. Boronkas, President and CEO or Safe+Sound Somerset. “We are excited to channel Deirdre’s talent, expertise and energy into furthering...

Ask Ava, Episode 197: “If I know I’m going to be drinking, can I give my partner consent beforehand?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 196: “What if my friends are pressuring me into having sex with someone?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

D.U.L.C.E. Consent Flyer (Spanish)

An easy-to-understand flyer about consent for sexual activity with Safe+Sound Somerset helpline tear-offs.

Ask Ava, Episode 195: “Why do people judge survivors of abuse?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Mental Health Resources for Veterans

Article discussing stats and mental health information for and about veterans. Article by Camp Lejeune Claims Center, which supports veterans.

Ask Ava, Episode 194: “How can I stop questioning that the abuse happened to me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 193: “What if my partner makes me feel guilty for seeing my family?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 192: “Are all people who abuse also narcissists?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 191: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if my partner blames abuse on the alcohol?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 191: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if my partner blames abuse on the alcohol?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 190: “What if my partner is struggling with their mental health?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 189: “What if I lost trust in my partner?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 188: “What if my partner shows me porn without my permission?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

My Nine Years as a Safe+Sound Somerset Trustee

My name is Susan Spagnola and I have served as a Trustee at Safe+Sound Somerset for the last nine years. I am honored to share some background on that involvement as we enter our year-end fundraising season and #NewBeginnings campaign. One of my first experiences with the organization was attending the Candlelight Vigil during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which takes place in October. I was blown away and moved to see the women, men and children who came together to...

Ask Ava, Episode 187: Ask Ava Anything! – “Why is sexual assault so bad, if there isn’t a pregnancy?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 187: Ask Ava Anything! – “Why is sexual assault so bad, if there isn’t a pregnancy?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Sexual Violence and Intimate Partner Violence Among People with Disabilities

Statistics and information about disabled folks experiencing abuse, from the CDC.

Domestic Abuse, Self-Care, and the Holidays

Article about what domestic abuse can look like over holidays, and self-care ideas for survivors of trauma.

Power and Control Wheel: People with Disabilities in Partner Relationships

Power and control wheel showing different ways a disabled person might be abused by a partner. From SAFE Austin.

Ask Ava, Episode 186 – “How do I know I have a healthy relationship?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

“Cyberbullying: How to Identify and Handle Harassment”

Article focused on youth cyberbullying and how to get help

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 185: Ask Ava Anything! – “Why do people joke about domestic and sexual violence?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 185: Ask Ava Anything! – “Why do people joke about domestic and sexual violence?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

LGBTQ+ Survivors’ Rights

A short document describing equal access to shelter and how domestic violence can look different for LGBTQ+ folks.

Ask Ava, Episode 184: “What if my partner doesn’t like my friends?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Domestic Violence (DV) is an EVERYONE Issue

How DV Impacts the Survivor, Children, Family, Friends, the Workplace, and the Community Community members often tell us that they see domestic violence as a “private” or “family issue” that only affects the two people in the relationship. This is a myth - domestic violence in a relationship extends way beyond those in the relationship and has far reaching negative impacts. We invite you to join us in preventing violence by starting to talk about intimate partners violence and its effects...

Ask Ava, Episode 183: “What if one of my parents is being abused?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 182: “What if I’m the strong person in the relationship, and I know I can change them?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 181: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if two people are fighting to date me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 181: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if two people are fighting to date me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Choices, Boundaries, and Consent: A Relationship Safety Planning Tool

This safety plan is geared towards young adults and teens for how to stay safe in a relationship: at school and work, when they wake up, at home, with friends, and online

Ask Ava, Episode 180: “Is it sexual assault to pressure someone into sexual activity?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

“How Unconditional Positive Regard Transforms Classrooms”

Article about one method of working with students in a trauma-informed way.

Counseling Services at Safe+Sound Somerset

Information about adult and youth individual counseling. Includes a description of our K.I.T.E. (Knowledge, Inspiration, Togetherness, Empowerment) support group for adult survivors of domestic and/or sexual violence.

Fast Facts abou PrEP and PEP

Flyer explaining two medications and how to contact a counselor. PrEP is a medication that is 99% effective at preventing HIV transmission via sex and 74% via injection drug use when taken as directed.

Ask Ava, Episode 179: “Why don’t people believe victims or survivors of sexual assault?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 179: “Why don’t people believe victims or survivors of sexual assault?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 178: “What if I remember abuse from when I was younger, and I need support now?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 177: Ask Ava Anything! – “Why is it hard for male survivors to ask for help?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 177: Ask Ava Anything! – “Why is it hard for male survivors to ask for help?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Partnering with Faith Family Health Care for Survivors

Partnering with Faith Family Health Care for Survivors Safe+Sound Somerset’s Manager of Community Outreach & Education, Victor Peralta, spent two days in late July training the doctors, nurses and other healthcare and office staff at Family Faith Health Care (FFHC) in North Plainfield about Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) and the evidence-based HARK screening tool for IPV. IPV can have short and long-term impacts on physical health outcomes, contributing to higher rates of depression and anxiety, suicide ideation, substance abuse, and high blood...

Ask Ava, Episode 176: “Why is it harmful to expect my partner to always answer texts?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Resources for Survivors of Stalking and Cyberstalking

Article about what stalking is, examples including cyberstalking, and how to get help. From Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), which operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

Ask Ava, Episode 175: “What kind of trouble do people get into for crimes like sexual assault?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Preventing Self-harm in Teens: A Guide for Appropriate Intervention

Article about what self-harm looks like and how family and educators can help.

Narcissism and Abuse

An article that discusses how a mental health disorder does not mean that a person is abusive, and how, no matter what, partners have choices over the way they treat their partners.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 174: “If my friend is scared, can I report sexual harassment to the school?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 174: “If my friend is scared, can I report sexual harassment to the school?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 173: “What if people blame me for having a developed body?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 172: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if my partner threatens suicide if I leave?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 172: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if my partner threatens suicide if I leave?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 171: “What should I do if my partner threatens to hurt my family?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Ep. 168: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if my partner threatens to ‘out’ me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video – Ask Ava, Ep. 168: Ask Ava Anything! – “What if my partner threatens to ‘out’ me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Abuso Sexual Infantil

Un recurso para padres y cuidadores que enfrentan el abuso sexual infantil de un niño que aman

11 Ways to Create a Safe Home as a Survivor of Domestic Violence

Article from Today's Homeowner describing the process of moving house, with a long list of resources for DV survivors.

Ask Ava, Episode 170: “How do I get rid of guilt I feel for saying ‘no’ to sex?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 170 – “How do I get rid of guilt I feel for saying ‘no’ to sex?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

F.R.I.E.S. Consent Flyer

An easy-to-understand flyer about consent for sexual activity with Safe+Sound Somerset helpline tear-offs.

Ask Ava, Episode 169: “What if I love my partner, and I don’t want to leave?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 169 -“What if I love my partner, and I don’t want to leave?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 167: “What if I still have to see the person who sexually assaulted me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Stressed? One-Minute Strategies

One-minute exercises to help you relax.

Ten Things You Can Do for Your Mental Health

List from University of Michigan's Health Service.

Verywell Mind Podcast

Tips for healing, improving your well-being, and cultivating mental strength.

Trans Men and Domestic Abuse: Let’s Talk About It

Video discussing how transgender men experience domestic abuse, and resources for support.

Ask Ava, Episode 166: “What if I told my parents about abuse, but they didn’t do anything?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Safety Tips for Summer Camp

Article for parents and guardians by the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) to reduce the risk of sexual violence and what to do if a child reports abuse.

Safe+Sound Somerset Servicios 2023

Gratis y confidencial servicios gratuitos y confidenciales para ninos, adolescentes y adultos.

Flyer – Safe+Sound Somerset Services 2023

Free and confidential services for children, teens, and adults.

Folleto – Equipo de Respuesta al Estrangulamiento y Asfixia No-Fatal (NFSSRT por sus siglas en ingles)

Information about this free Safe+Sound service, which provides support to survivors 13+.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 165 -“What can bystanders do if they see sexual harassment in public?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 165: “What can bystanders do if they see sexual harassment in public?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Celebrating Queer Love

Everyone deserves to be safe in a relationship. It’s not your fault if someone, like a partner, chooses to use your identity (including gender and/or sexual orientation) against you. Queer people’s rights should not be debatable. Safe+Sound Somerset stands strongly against stigma, violence, and abuse against all who identify as LGBTQIA+ and/or queer. We also stand firmly against the 490+ anti-LGBTQ+ bills currently being debated across the United States, according to the ACLU. Safe+Sound Somerset is here for you. ...

Ask Ava, Episode 164: “What if I consented to sexual activity, but I didn’t know what I was agreeing to?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

“What is Considered Sexual Assault?”

An informational guide about sexual assault by Florin and Roebig Trial Attorneys.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 163 – Ask Ava Anything! – “Should I watch adult content so I know what partners expect of me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 163: Ask Ava Anything! – “Should I watch adult content so I know what partners expect of me?”

A short podcast episode where we give real answers to real questions from teens and young adults about relationships, consent, dating violence, and more.

The “Manosphere” and its Impact on Violence Prevention

The “Manosphere,” a play on the word “blogosphere,” is a loose collection of online blogs, websites, social media threads, influencers, and vlogs “where users share their bigoted, sexist, and toxic view of society in general and masculinity and femininity in particular”.¹ A primary purpose of many of these groups being online harassment and glorifying violence against women. Violence prevention researchers identify four main subgroups within the manosphere: Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) advocate for policy and systemic change that benefit men. They...