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Digital Safety Wheel for victims and survivors

Handout for victims and survivors to figure out their tech safety level.

Nonconsensual Tracking and Personal Trackers

Short guide to understanding different kinds of trackers, how to disable them, and how to figure out if you're being tracked. From Endtab.org (Ending Tech-Enabled Abuse)

“Stop Sextortion” – PSA for youth

Video focused on youth for talking to friends about what sextortion is.

4 Digital Safety Resources in 20+ Languages

4 digital safety resources from some amazing organizations around the world that focus on victims’ digital safety. Languages: Spanish, French, Arabic, Italian, Urdu, Farsi, Thai, Korean, Vietnamese, Tagalog, and more.

Ask Ava, Episode 155: “How can you tell someone to back off without hurting their feelings or the relationship?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Information about Denim Day

Read about Denim Day, a campaign on a Wednesday in April in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. This article explains why Denim Day exists from a particular court case in Italy in 1992.

A Trauma-Informed Approach to Intake and Family Advocacy

An article describing what to expect during the intake process at Safe+Sound and our family advocacy program.

Lean On Me guidebook: for caregivers and educators

Children often don't have the words to disclose that they have been sexually abused, or choose to remain silent because they fear they won't be believed. The guidebook is designed to inform, guide, and educate caregivers to safeguard children from online and in-person grooming, help create a safe space to support and validate a child’s disclosure of sexual abuse, and be a healing presence for them in the event sexual abuse has occurred. From RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National...

Lean On Me videos: A Caregiver’s Guide to supporting children healing from sexual abuse

Children often don't have the words to disclose that they have been sexually abused, or choose to remain silent because they fear they won't be believed. This series is designed to inform, guide, and educate caregivers to safeguard children from online and in-person grooming, help create a safe space to support and validate a child’s disclosure of sexual abuse, and be a healing presence for them in the event sexual abuse has occurred. From RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National...

Ask Ava, Episode 153: “What if someone keeps making fun of my sexual orientation?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Safety Net Project – technology safety for survivors of violence

Website with tech safety tips, stalkerware, location tracking, phone safety, online privacy, personal data privacy, connected devices in your home, and apps. Also has information about tech safety with sexual assault, and teens with technology.

Mental Health is Health

Website that can help you or when you're supporting a friend. Tips for taking care of your mental health and helping you feel your best.

Teen Dating Violence in the Black Community

Fact sheet by Ujima - National Center on Violence Against Women in the Black Community

Ask Ava, Episode 152: “What does blackmail from a partner look like in real life?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

What Happens When I Need Legal Help for Domestic or Sexual Violence?

Safe+Sound blog post about reaching out for legal help through our organization. How to contact us, what to expect when you speak with an advocate, and additional basic information about restraining orders.

Survivor Love Letter

Survivor Love Letter was started by filmmaker and activist Tani Ikeda, who penned a letter to her younger self that ended with the words: “this is my survivor love letter.” This is a Survivor Love Letter from RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network).

Self-Care Tips for Survivors

Continuously updated list of self-care tips from RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network).

Myths and Facts: Sexual abuse of boys and men

Information from 1 in 6, a support center for male victims and survivors.

List of chat rooms and message boards for survivors

From Womenslaw.org. Please keep safety in mind as you are using these resources. Only some of them are moderated and screened. Many of the message and discussion boards can be accessed by anyone on the Internet. Never post your real name or contact information to a chatroom or message board.

Educator Tools: Human Trafficking Awareness

Website with videos and community awareness toolkit by NJ Coalition Against Human Trafficking.

“Financial Abuse in Teen Relationships is Real: What You Need to Know”

Safe+Sound article about how teens might experience financial abuse from partners, plus warning signs.  

Ask Ava, Episode 151: “Why is teen pregnancy more common in abusive relationships?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

A Guide to Safety Planning for Survivors of Sexual Violence

Safe+Sound handout including safety considerations for technology, emotional safety, physical and medical safety, and safety at the workplace, school, and home. A safety plan is a personal plan you can make. You can also call or text the Safe+Sound helpline to safety plan with a trained advocate: 866-685-1122.

A Guide to Safety Planning for Survivors of Domestic Violence

Safe+Sound handout including safety considerations for technology, pregnancy, pets, the workplace, staying with someone who is harming, and leaving/after leaving. A safety plan is a personal plan you can make. You can also call or text the Safe+Sound helpline to safety plan with a trained advocate: 866-685-1122.

Tech Safety Resources

List of links from NJ Coalition to End Domestic Violence. Please call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset helpline at 866-685-1122 to safety plan more in detail with a trained advocate.

Tech Safety Tips: When Your iPhone is Being Monitored

Resource from NJ Coalition to End Domestic Violence. Shows tips for changing settings on your iPhone. Call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset helpline at 866-685-1122 to safety plan more in detail with a trained advocate.

Tech Safety Tips: Assessing for Tracking and Monitoring

Resource from NJ Coalition to End Domestic Violence. Shows questions someone can ask to see how safe their technology is from a person using abuse. Please call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset helpline at 866-685-1122 to safety plan more in detail with a trained advocate.

Ask Ava, Episode 150: “Why does my partner keep harassing me on social media?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

NJ Age of Consent Chart and FAQ

This chart, created by Safe+Sound Somerset, is for teen provider/parent use with teens. It should not be taken as legal advice; it is our understanding of the law as of February 1, 2023. For questions about mandatory reporting or direct support related to dating, domestic, or sexual violence, please call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122.

Ask Ava, Episode 149: “What if they are toxic, but I love them and don’t want to leave?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 148: “What does stalking look like in real life?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

College Suicide Prevention Guide

An article with information geared towards college age students for talking with someone who is considering suicide. If you or someone else are in danger, call 911. You can also call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255), available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

10 Tips to Have an Informed Conversation about Domestic Violence

Tips and basic information for talking about domestic violence with survivors and others.

¿Qué sucede cuando me comunico con la línea de ayuda 24/7 de llamadas o mensajes de texto de Safe+Sound Somerset?

Guide for what to expect when calling a domestic and sexual violence helpline.

What Happens When I Contact Safe+Sound Somerset’s 24/7 Call or Text Helpline?

Guide for what to expect when calling a domestic and sexual violence helpline.

Ask Ava, Episode 147: “What if my partner pressures me to change my plans after graduation, for them?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 146: “What if my partner lets me use their car, but expects me to pay them back with sex?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 146 – “What if my partner lets me use their car, but expects me to pay them back with sex?”

Video version of Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 145: “What if my partner insists on holding onto my money?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 144: “What if my partner keeps bothering me while I’m working?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 143: “What if my partner gives me gifts, but holds them against me later?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 142 – “Up until what point during sex can I change my mind and take away consent?”

Video version of Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 142: “Up until what point during sex can I change my mind, and take away consent?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

“LGBTQ Survivors of Sexual Violence”

Article discussing sexual violence and its possible effects on LGBTQIA+ survivors. It also includes ways to support LGBTQIA+ survivors, including suggested phrases. From RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network/National Sexual Assault Hotline)

“Luckiest Girl Alive” movie roundtable

In this video, RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) is sharing their support and partnership with Netflix for the new film, "Luckiest Girl Alive" (2022). The book's author, an actor, and licensed clinical social worker talk about how one survivor's story of sexual violence is portrayed in the film, affecting her throughout her life. They also talk about how to support survivors in their healing. The website has additional resources for survivors.

“What Consent Looks Like”

Short article about consent for sexual activity - what it looks like, and what it doesn't. Includes phrases people can use. From RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network/National Sexual Assault Hotline)  

“Healing with PTSD is not Linear”

An article with information on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after sexual violence, and resources for those showing symptoms. From RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network/National Sexual Assault Helpline)

Teen Dating Violence Scavenger Hunt – Handout for Youth

Handout for youth use (recommended grades 8-12, either in classrooms or groups, in fillable PDF format). This scavenger hunt asks students to listen to 3 short Ask Ava podcasts and review Power and Control and Equality wheels before completing an assessment. Adheres to 2020 NJ Student Learning Standards for Comprehensive Health and Physical Education.This is a part of a larger lesson plan (goes with Activity Guide for Educators).

Teen Dating Violence Scavenger Hunt – Activity Guide for Educators

Includes instructions and suggested talking points for educators and leaders. This scavenger hunt asks students (recommended grades 8-12) to listen to 3 short Ask Ava podcasts and review Power and Control and Equality Wheels before completing an assessment. Adheres to 2020 NJ Student Learning Standards for Comprehensive Health and Physical Education. This is a part of a larger lesson plan (goes with Handout for Youth).

Healthy Friendships Scavenger Hunt – Activity Guide for Educators

Includes instructions and suggested talking points for educators and leaders. This scavenger hunt asks students (recommended grades 6-8) to listen to 3 short Ask Ava podcasts before completing an assessment. Adheres to 2020 NJ Student Learning Standards for Comprehensive Health and Physical Education. This is a part of a larger lesson plan (goes with Handout for Youth).

Healthy Friendships Scavenger Hunt – Handout for Youth

Handout for youth use (recommended grades 6-8, either in classrooms or groups - in fillable PDF format). This scavenger hunt asks students to listen to 3 short Ask Ava podcasts before completing an assessment. Adheres to 2020 NJ Student Learning Standards for Comprehensive Health and Physical Education. This is a part of a larger lesson plan (goes with Activity Guide for Educators).

Middle School Resource Packet – Safe+Sound (Spanish)

A digital resource packet for dating and sexual violence. Included: Helpline list, information about Safe+Sound's free services, power and control/equality wheels, rights and responsibilities, and our teen safety plan.

Middle School Resource Packet – Safe+Sound (English)

A digital resource packet for dating and sexual violence. Included: Helpline list, information about Safe+Sound's free services, power and control/equality wheels, rights and responsibilities, and our teen safety plan.

High School Resource Packet – Safe+Sound (Spanish)

A digital resource packet for dating and sexual violence. Included: Helpline list, information about Safe+Sound's free services, power and control/equality wheels, rights and responsibilities, and our teen safety plan.

High School Resource Packet – Safe+Sound (English)

A digital resource packet for dating and sexual violence. Included: Helpline list, information about Safe+Sound's free services, power and control/equality wheels, rights and responsibilities, and our teen safety plan.

Equipo de Respuesta a la Agresión Sexual (SART)

Card describing how SART supports survivors age 13+, within 5 days after a sexual assault. See the English version here:

Card – Sexual Assault Response Team (SART)

Card describing how SART supports survivors age 13+, within 5 days after a sexual assault. See the Spanish version here:

Stalking Incident and Behavior Log

For victims of stalking: a log where you can keep track of incidents and behavior. This can help to validate your own feelings, safety plan, and if you choose to engage with criminal or civil justice systems. From Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC). Important note (from the pdf): Since this information could potentially be introduced as evidence or inadvertently shared with the stalker at a future time, do not include any information in the log that you do...

Ask Ava, Episode 141: “What if my friend says, ‘If you really love me, you’d have sex with me’?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 141 – “What if my friend says, ‘If you really love me, you’d have sex with me’?”

Video version of Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 140: “What if my partner is guilting me into paying for all of our dates?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Domestic Violence Fact Sheets – NCADV

Statistics and information on domestic violence in many different communities. List and fact sheets towards bottom of the page. Presented by National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).

Infographics on Stalking by SPARC

Link to website with many different handouts, featuring statistics about high rates of stalking in different communities and myths vs. facts. By the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC)

Deaf Power and Control Wheel

A tool that shows common power and control tactics a person might use to abuse their partner or family member. This wheel is specific to Deaf folks, from the organization DeafHope.

Trans-Specific Power and Control Tactics

A tool that shows common power and control tactics a person might use to abuse their partner or family member. This list is specific to transgender folks.

Post-Separation Power and Control Wheel

A tool that shows common power and control tactics a person might use to abuse their partner or family member. This wheel is specific to separated partners.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 131 – “What if someone keeps asking me out after I said ‘no?'”

Video version of Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Video – Ask Ava, Episode 130: “If we talk about having sex before we start drinking, is it still consensual?”

Video version of Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 129 – “What if my partner is pressuring me to pay them back with sex?”

A video version of the Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Video: “Dear Ava, What can teens expect when visiting the hospital after a sexual assault?”

Video version of special Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens. In this episode, our youth volunteer Ella interviews Melissa Inzitari, Forensic Nurse Examiner and Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) Coordinator for Somerset County, NJ.

Video – “Dear Ava, Can I get help from the hospital if I experienced sexual assault while drinking?”

Video version of special Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens. In this episode, our youth volunteer Ella interviews Melissa Inzitari, Forensic Nurse Examiner and Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) Coordinator for Somerset County, NJ.

Video: Ask Ava, Episode 128 – “How does the Sexual Assault Response Team support teens?”

Video version of special Ask Ava podcast episode, geared towards teens and those who care about teens. In this episode, our youth volunteer Ella interviews Melissa Inzitari, Forensic Nurse Examiner and Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) Coordinator for Somerset County, NJ.

Planificación de seguridad para adolescentes

A handout explaining options for teens to stay safe from abusive partners in school, at home, and online. English version here.

Ask Ava, Episode 139: “What can I do if my partner makes me feel trapped in the relationship?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Domestic Violence and Faith – article

Article describing how a person may use faith to abuse their partner or family member, from National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV).

List of Power and Control Wheels

A list of power and control and equality wheel handouts that show common tactics a person might use to abuse their partner or family member. Many different communities are represented. From the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence (NCDSV).

Power and Control Wheel – People with Disabilities in Partner Relationships

A tool that shows common power and control tactics a person might use to abuse their partner or family member. This wheel is specific to disabled folks in relationships (and can also apply to caregiver situations).

What To Do If You Are Being Stalked

A website listing tips for those experiencing stalking, along with logs for documenting what happens. From Stalking, Prevention, Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC).

Stalking and Domestic Violence infographic

An infographic with statistics about stalking and domestic violence by the Stalking, Prevention, Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC).

Stalking and Intimate Partner Violence video

A short video explaining what stalking can look like with a partner or ex-partner, from the Stalking, Prevention, Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC). Geared towards adults/professionals.

Circulo de Poder y Control para Personas dentro de Relaciones Lésbicas, Gay, Bisexual y Transgenero

A tool that shows common power and control tactics a person might use to abuse their partner or family member, specific to the LGBTQ+ community. From TheHotline.org.

LGBTQ+ Power and Control Wheel

A tool that shows common power and control tactics a person might use to abuse their partner or family member, specific to the LGBTQ+ community. From Love is Respect.

Ask Ava, Episode 138: “What if you sexually harass someone by accident?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 137: “What if my friend is being distant now that they’re in a relationship?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 136: “How do I tell my friends I’m being abused, if they are friends with my abuser?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 135: “How do you know your partner feels uncomfortable if they hide it?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 134: “What if my partner is pressuring me to skip class or drop out?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 133: “Why does my friend keep going back to their toxic ex?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 132: “How many people lie about abuse?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 131: “What if someone keeps asking me out after I said ‘no?'”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 130: “If we talk about having sex before we start drinking, is it still consensual?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Ask Ava, Episode 129: “What if my partner is pressuring me to pay them back with sex?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

People with Disabilities and Domestic Violence Fact Sheet

2022 Fact sheet presented by National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). Includes statistics and information about abuse.

Ask Ava, Episode 128: “How does the Sexual Assault Response Team support teens?”

A special longer podcast interview - episode is geared towards teens and those who care about teens. Watch the video version here on YouTube:

Ask Ava, Episode 127: “If I’m 14 and have sex with a 16-year-old, is that rape?”

A short podcast episode geared towards teens and those who care about teens.

Elementary School Bullying Power and Control Wheel

A handout that explains different ways bullying takes away power and control. Recommended for 4th to 6th grade with teacher/parent support.

Middle School Bullying/Dating Abuse Power and Control Wheel

A handout that establishes language for healthy friendship and relationship Rights and Responsibilities, and setting boundaries. Recommended grades 6-8.

Círculo de poder y control y igualdad para los adolescentes

A tool that shows common power and control tactics a young person might use to abuse their partner, and also what behaviors promote equality and equal power sharing.