Each October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month invites us to reflect on the realities of abuse and the lives it impacts. But reflection alone is not enough. We must confront the ways domestic violence is often minimized in public discourse, treated as a private matter, or a momentary conflict. This minimization is inaccurate and dangerous.
Domestic violence is not a “small fight” or a personal disagreement. It is a pattern of power and control that can escalate into lethal violence. Domestic violence is a public health crisis, and a life and death issue.
The Fatal Cost of Abuse
In 2023 in New Jersey, 57 people were killed in domestic violence-related incidents, a 14% increase from the previous year (NJ State Police). Nationally, 1 in 2 American female homicide victims were killed by a current or former intimate partners. These statistics represent lives lost, families shattered, and communities grieving.
While domestic violence affects men and women, women make up the vast majority of DV-related deaths. Children are also at risk, both as witnesses and as direct victims.
Central NJ is not immune to these realities, and these tragedies are not isolated incidents. Just in the past few months, two devastating cases in Franklin Township and Jackson Township have resulted in the deaths of 3 people, underscoring the fatal consequences of domestic violence.
The Danger of Control
One of the most dangerous myths about domestic violence is that it must involve physical harm to be serious or fatal. In reality, many victims who are killed by an abusive partner never experienced physical violence until the final, deadly act (Campbell, JC. 2003)
Domestic violence is rooted in power and control and centers on behaviors that take away or violate the survivor’s right to make their own choices, set boundaries, and give or deny consent. Coercive control is a pattern of abusive behaviors to gain domination through isolation, intimidation, surveillance, and manipulation, and it is a major predictor of intimate partner homicide. (Stark, E. 2007)
There are multiple screening tools used by first responders and other professionals to assess the potential level of risk for lethality in abusive relationships. All identify several non-physical factors to consider when assessing danger. Risks of lethality increase when the abuser has:
- Threatened to hurt the survivor or themselves
- Isolated the survivor from family and friends
- Easy access to a gun
- Exhibited stalking behaviors such as following and spying on the survivor
- Shown frequent or constant jealousy
- Tried to control most of the survivor’s daily activities
Joining Together to Support Survivors
At Safe + Sound Somerset, We BELIVE Survivors.
We believe that survivors deserve safety, healing, and freedom.
We also believe in the power of choices, boundaries, and consent. They are the building blocks of healthy relationships and safe communities. When we teach and model these principles, we interrupt cycles of harm and create space for healing.
Every day at Safe + Sound Somerset, we witness survivors reclaim their voices, their safety, their freedom, and their futures. This work is heavy, but it is also hopeful.
Our work is essential, and lives depend on organizations like Safe + Sound Somerset continuing to exist. But we can’t do this work alone.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a call to action. Here are a few ways you can help:
- Learn the warning signs of abuse and lethality, including non-physical risk factors. Visit our Learning Center for resources and tools
- Talk to young people about healthy relationships and boundaries.
- Support survivors by listening without judgment and connecting them to resources like Safe+Sound Somerset
- Advocate for systemic change—in schools, workplaces, law enforcement, and legislation.
Where to Get Help
If you or someone you know needs help, you can call or text our 24/7 Helpline at 866-685-1122. Our trained advocates are there to listen and provide information, safety planning, crisis team activation, and referrals to Safe + Sound Somerset programs.
